Granny and The Tempter...
Faith Sack Version in a Play or Skit Forum
My sister and I performed this skit at a Women's Conference at King College. Guess which one of us was which...HAHA!
Granny is sitting in a rocking chair in front of the fire knitting and hears a knock at the door. "Come in" and looks toward the audience....
Granny: Well, good morning! It sure is nice to get some company these days. I sure do get kinda lonely sometimes. So lonely, I think I can hear the devil himself talkin' to me. (Laughs to herself) Well maybe not the old devil...but one of his little errand boys! Yes, siree...he's been trying to talk in my ear for quite some time, but I've outfoxed him in all his wiley ways. Heh? What's that? (pretends to listen to company) How did I do that, you say? I've got a little bag of tricks that I use whenever I feel him kind of creeping up on me sneaky like. Heh? You want to know what these tricks are? Well, you know they're kind of like everyday household items that remind me of Jesus and his great love for me. Hmmmmm....you want a for instance do ya? Let me get my little bag of tricks...and just remember you asked for it!
Granny reaches down beside her chair and pulls out a bag. She reaches in and pulls out a NAIL.
Granny: This here nail reminds me when my life gets a little tough that Jesus coped with a lot of stress in his life too, He sure did have some bad days! More stress than I'll ever have to face in my own life. Let's see here,, what else can I find? Reaches in and pulls out a THUMBTACK.
Granny: Just like this here thumbtack...when you sit on a thumbtack or step on it ...it hurts! It hurts you just as bad if you sit on your problems and don't do anything about 'em! Get up and do something about those pesky problems that the devil sends your way! He hates to lose when you win!
(Behind the fireplace sits the Tempter...the tempter acts disgusted and sits down on a thumbtack!)
Tempter: Can either hold up a sign that says "OUCH!" or says "OUCH! really loudly!
Granny cackles...and looks at her company...
Granny: "See what I mean?" Let's see what else I have here in this bag of tricks...(Pulls out a CAN OPENER)
Granny: You see this can opener? It reminds me to open the wonderful amazing discoveries hidden in life. Amazing things..like Jesus' un-ending love for us. All we have to do is accept him, just take that first step to open our hearts and he will be the first to open us with welcoming arms and will be with us always!
Tempter: Holds up a sign and asks about simple answers???
Granny: Heh? What's that? What did you say? Oh, I know it sounds simple...and it really is simple...that's the beauty of Jesus' love. (Reaches in her bag and pulls out a LITTLE BOTTLE)
Granny: Take this little bottle for instance. Jesus has collected all my tears in that little bottle. He knows all about me. He's been with me in the good times and in the bad. He knows when I hurt and he knows when my heart is happy! Tears of joy as well as tears of sorrow are in that little bottle, and Jesus holds all of 'em.
Tempter: Holds up a sign that says "Oh, dry up!"
Granny reaches yet again into bag and pulls out a MIRROR.
Granny: This here mirror reminds me to reflect God's love toward others. God pours his out unsparingly, and he wants us to do the same. Others should be able to look at me or you and see His love in us and want that same love within their own hearts.
Tempter: Holds up a sign that says "Hmmmm...my beautiful self, cracked my mirror!)
Granny reaches in again and pulls out a bottle of HOT SAUCE,
Granny: Have you ever tasted something warm when it should be either hot or cold? This hot sauce is for when I get lukewarm. I don't want God to spit me out of his mouth! So I've decided to use Tobasco to heat up my life. I don't want to be a milk toast, and don't you be one either...(points finger to imaginary company) Live a little on the hot side....(cackles) On my? Did I say that?
Tempter: Holds up a sign that says "I'm pretty hot myself"
Granny reaches in her bag again...pulls out a PLUNGER.
Granny: Oh, when life gets piled high with trash take this here plunger and flush it all down the tubes! We can flush all the sin out of our lives much easier than a plumber cleans out drains! All we have to do is breathe the name of Jesus and he's right there...waiting for us...and wondering what took us so long to come to Him.
Tempter: Holds up a sign that says: "Drain-Oh-No!!!"
Granny looks at the company...
Granny: Have you heard enough, or do you want me to go on....
Company (audience) cheers her on....
Granny reaches in her bag again and pulls out a roll of BREATH SAVERS.
Granny: And when the trash gets so piled up and starts to smell bad...you're gonna need a breath saver. It's for the times when we need a breath of fresh air into our stale, stinky life. To freshen out our drawer full of secrets...our closet full of old musty sins, places we really don't want anyone else to see, Ahhh...a breath of fresh air...the sweet breath of heaven. That's what it is!
Tempter: Holds up a sign that says" "GAG"
Granny reaches in again...pulls out a BOX OF TISSUES.
Granny: I wouldn't get through life without my box of tissues...I use them for everything. I just have to cry at weddings, sad movies, children leaving home, and for times of grief like when a loved one dies. A good cry always does us good, somehow. Besides that, we always feel a little better. Sometimes this box of tissues is to share with a friend for when they have sad times, and happy times too. We can cry right along with 'em, whether it's happy or sad. No siree...I couldn't make it without my box of tissues!
Tempter: Holds up a sign that says" I thought I already talked about Drying UP...enough already!"
Granny: Oh I have lots more...
Reaches in her bag once again and pulls out a ROCK.
Granny: This here rock is exactly what you think it is ... a rock. When things go wrong, like they always do, just remember that God is our ROCK.
Tempter: Holds up a sign that says "I like LAVA Rock"
Granny reaches in her bag again...and pulls out a pair of SCISSORS.
Granny: A lot of people nowadays need these scissors, probably more than I do, now! I used these scissors to cut all the unnecessary stuff in my life that causes stress. Do the important stuff first, and don't worry about what you can't change. We shouldn't be too busy to pray and to thank our Lord. I even used to rush around so much doing the work of Jesus, I forgot all about my relationship with him. (Looks at the company) Use These Scissors!
Tempter:" Oh...don't worry about that...let me do the worrying for you, I'm good at cutting remarks and tattling!"
Granny reaches in again and pulls out a piece or "box" of CHALK.
Granny: But...you know we all make mistakes...because we're human. When we do though, remember this piece of chalk. You can chalk all of your mistakes to experience and lessons learned. I've chalked up so many things in my life, my voive squeaks...and my bones too (cackles).
Tempter: Holds up a sign that says..."Where's the Holy Oil when you need it?"
Granny reaches in and pulls out a CANDY HEART.
Granny: This candy heart has come in handy several times. I used this one for the very bad times, when I felt like I didn't have a heart. Times when I didn't have anything left to give to anyone. I was simply too exhausted and too drained to respond to anything. I had cried all the tears, spoken all the words I knew, and given away all my love. This candy heart reminds me that I can tap into Jesus' heart of love anytime and replenish my soul.
Tempter: Holds up a sign that says: "Candy melts where I live...!"
Granny reaches in and pulls out a roll of DUCT TAPE.
Granny: Now this is really a piece of work. This duct tape can be used for everything. It can mend all kinds of things, and not just around the house. This reminds me that all things can be fixed, if we rely on Jesus.
Tempter: Holds up a sign: "Tape doesn't work in my house..for some reason it won't stick!"
Granny reaches in and pulls out a FEATHER DUSTER.
Granny: When I get bored and lazy I can tackle life with my feather duster, here. I can stir up a lot of things...(cackles). Like hearts, and lives. We need to clean up all the dust from our lives here on earth and do the best we can to live as Jesus did. Now mind you, I know he wore sandals, and his feet got mighty dusty, but he is righteous and wears a white robe now, and I somehow think his feet aren't dusty now. Granted, some of us have a more major clean up than others, but if we tackle our nooks and crannies that we've hid from everyone for many years, head on with this feather duster, Jesus will clean up all of it and remove it to some grand garbage dump somewhere (hmmm...I wonder where) never to be seen again! I hate to clean house so this reminds me to at least stir up something!
Tempter: Holds up a sign that says: "Sneeze...sneeze...cough...cough"
Granny reaches in and pulls out a SAFETY or CLOTHES pin.
Granny: Now this kept me together when I felt like falling apart! It pinned my chin to my face when I felt like it was on the floor! There were times when I knew I had disappointed God, my best friends, my family. I just needed to ask God's forgiveness, brush myself off the floor and move on. God's love and His sacrifice allowed me to do just that. This safety pin reminds me that I can be held together with Jesus' love.
Tempter: Holds up a sign that says "All this talk about LOVE makes me sick...when is she gonna quit?"
Granny reaches in her bag and pulls out a sheet of WHITE PAPER AND PEN.
Granny: This piece of white paper and pen reminds me that I start out each day with a clean slate with God. We determine what gets written on it as the day unfolds. We can write happy, sad, encouraging or inspiring things on it's surface. At the end of the day we can look at our piece of paper, see it is no longer blank, thank God for it and then start the new day fresh because if the covering of Jesus' blood. Don't wait around for life to happen without you. Jesus knows the end already, and we should too. Our own happy ending however is left up to us by God. It can be a glorious ending if we choose Love. So what if a few stray marks get placed upon the page...God will just crumble our sheet of paper and toss it away...and give us a new page for the next day.
Tempter: Holds a sign up that says: "Hrump...when I use the eraser...it never works, and all those extra pieces of paper are fuel for my fire!"
Granny reaches in and pulls out a MAGNIFYING GLASS,
Granny: We need to pay attention to the small details in life. WE want to show love to others but we neglect those things right under our noses, such as our families, and local church brothers and sisters. Take out a magnifying glass often and inspect your life. You just might be surprised what you see!
Tempter: Holds up a sign that says..."I'm so beautiful I'm afraid to look!"
Granny reaches in and pulls out a PHONE and REMOTE CONTROL.
Granny: When I need a little help, I have a direct prayer line to God. I don't even need this phone. I never get a busy signal, no dial tones, hangups or redials. I have an instant connection to Jesus...even if I forget to pay my bill (cackles...I'm getting a little forgetful these days)
And this here remote control...reminds me to get up off my duff and change the channel myself. Get off the sidelines of life. I want to help the hungry so I send a couple of cans of food to the local food bank by someone else. I send my used clothing into a collection can at the Salvation Army. I forget that sometimes my time is needed. I don't necessarily want to work in the soup kitchen, or give my time at the local shelter. But Jesus didn't really want to die for me either. Yet, he got up and marched straight to the cross, for me. This is how we use our own personal remote control button. Don't we just punch those buttons to change the channel so we don't have to get up and DO something? God is the power behind our remote control. We need to use His power to accomplish the work he has for us to do.
Tempter: Holds up a set of batteries and waves them around as if he's got one up on Granny....Then holds up a “Scowl” sign as Granny delivers her “God Lasts Forever” line...coming up next)
Granny reaches in and pulls out the last item...KEYS
Granny: Batteries only last so long...God lasts forever. These keys picture a time when God's kingdom will be here at long last. We have the keys to the kingdom. You know the excitement you feel when you experience something new? A new home, or job or school? Jesus can completely change your life, and give you a huge mansion to live in...on top of it! I can't tope that deal nowhere, nohow! These keys also remind me that one day God will chain up that old devil and lock him up in a bottomless put. I think the keys to the kingdom will fit that lock on that bottomless pit and they will lock up that old Devil forever (cackles)..
Granny looks at the audience...
Granny: Do you have the keys? Ask Jesus for a set....they're free!
Tempter: Holds up a sign that says..."Finally, I thought she'd never stop yacking!"
Tempter: Holds up another sign:
"OK..OK..Jesus....I'm going...I'm going....!
(Kind of like the witch in the Wizard of Oz….”I’m melting…I’m melting…”
Granny smiles at the audience...and waves goodbye.... "Glad you stopped by for a little chat."